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Inside the Linndale GM's office

Coach: “Well, this is the last one of these I get to attend…”

Reina: “Don’t be going soft on these now; you’ve told me for years you hated this part!”

Coach: “You will, too. Right now, you’re still fresh faced. You’re in a good organization. We listen here. We try things. We learn. Doesn’t mean I have to like this part.”

Reina: “Point made.”

GM: “Let’s get this started. Pio, with Coach’s blessing, the staff has been remade. Your incoming assistants are all off taking care of some business. This meeting is being recorded and they will have the option of listening to the recording at their convenience or provided with a transcript. The three of us will proceed with the preseason evaluation and move forward with our plan. Coach, let’s start with the rookies. What do you see there?”

Coach: “Start with Gross. He’s undersized for a big. Not a versatile or solid defender. Developmental player. Can rebound right now. Has a few other skills that are close to playable. Could be a nice bench player in a couple years. Pio?”

Reina: “Offensively, shows potential, but defensively has a long way to go. How quickly he picks up defense will go a long way.

GM: “Agreed. Next up, Mosley. Very raw. Weird mix of skills.”

Coach: “Inside defense and rebounding will be playable quickly. Problem is, if he’s playing a lot we’ve got injury problems because he’s not close to being ready for anything else.”

Reina: “He has some skills that could make him very interesting. The opposite of Gross; his offense will dictate how far he can go, and he’s got a long way to go there.

GM: “Agreed. Guajardo. Low ceiling. Practice body?”

Coach: “You never have enough shooters, and he looks like he might be a shooter in the making.”

Reina: “Defensively, he’s a train wreck. If he can develop that shooting skill to stick around, that would be nice. If his defense can ever get to what is playable, that would be huge for him.”

GM: “OK, on to the returning players. Centers. Work in progress. Make or break for both.”

Coach: “Disagree there. Jung is the backup, Datler the starter. Clear as the day is long.”

Reina: “Agreed. Jung can also hide a bit at the 4. Also, he’s the best shooter of the two, which doesn’t say much. Edge defensively also because he can hide at the 4. Datler can’t.

GM: “That group moved to full staff conference later. Power Forwards. Gale. Needs a lot of work.”

Coach: “We need to see if he’s a 2 or a 3.”

Reina: “No range, can’t get to the hoop, inside game is complete trash.”
Coach: “He’s got a shot, and can score inside. His handle can play at the 3 and should improve. Defensively can handle the 2 or 3.”

Reina: “Coach, if he’s at the 2, we’ve lost that game. Defensively, he passable off the bench at the 3. To be a threat, he has to improve his range and ability to get to the basket.”

GM: “Agreeing with Coach, but moving to conference. Guevara. Solid, but can be better.”

Coach: “His improvement in the inside game is the key for him. Can hide at the 3 or hold down the 5 in a pinch.”

Reina: “If he can improve his perimeter D and shot blocking just a bit each…”

Coach: “Pio, snap out of it. We don’t have the rebounders for that. Yet.”

GM: “Czagala. Needs work on offense.”

Coach: “No ball skills. Shot and range need work. Defensively can play 3, 4, or 5.”

Reina: “If he can raise his inside game and rebounding to the level of his defense, that would be huge.”

GM: “Agreed. Small forward. Sutori is the guy there.”

Coach: “Stop it; name only and you know it. Shots can slide from 2 to 5, but he has to improve his inside game to stick a the 4 or 5, and improve his range to stick at the 2.

Reina: “If the range improves, fine, but the inside game is where I want to see him improve. Definitely a weapon with a bit more consistency.”

GM: “Agreed. Shooting Guards. Brown. Solid backup.”


Last edited by Speedtraps at 11/03/2022 19:47:11

(continued)

Coach: “Defensively, he’s 2 or 3. Offensively, he’s a jump shot away from being a guy you could start.”

Reina: “If we can’t depend on him to hit a jumper by the end of this season, we’ll have to move on.”

GM: “Disagree. Moving him to conference. Knowles.”

Coach: “I want him to improve his passing and inside game. Or at least help on the boards a bit more.”

Reina: “Help on the boards and improve his free throw shooting. Improving his range would be a bonus.”

GM: “Agreed. Point Guards. Teti.”

Coach: “Capable backup. Want to see him improve all around offensively.”

Reina: “Agreed.”

GM: “Lutz.”

Coach: “Starting small forward. All around threat. Still room for improvement.”

Reina: “I want him to improve on the boards specifically, and in general, his all around game. He has to be more aggressive.”

GM: “Coenen.”

Coach: “I’d like to see him improve at the rim and his free throw shooting.”

Reina: “Same.”

GM: “Then we are adjourned until the assistants are back for conference. If I see a move, I’m making it. We missed out on a few guys the last few days, I expect picking up someone fitting our mold will be difficult, but I’ll keep trying.”

Reina: "What are you looking for?"

GM: "What do you want?"

Coach: " A dominant big, a small forward capable of making us change Lutz's role, and another guard who can score."

Reina: "You asked..."

GM: "You guys dtill don't get it. My job description includes attempting to, and occassionally pulling off the improbable and making the impossible seem feasible. That's every" GM's job description."

Coach: "He's got a point there."

Reina: *walking out of the office* "Let me know when he starts. Time to go see the players...

Season 59 Information and Predictions
Well, here's the unofficial, official welcome to those of us who now reside in Div III.11. This is my introductory post where I pretend to know what I'm talking about when I'm guessing who will win, who will lose, and who will spend a TON of money and totally revamp their team before the all star break only to sell everything off and get walked over for a few games before hanging on to still make the playoffs (here's looking at you Hustlas).

Last season I predicted Rip City Revival would win it all, and thank god they did. Nice enough guy, but I was tired of seeing Nikky Nay go off every time I faced them. As expected, however, my play-off predictions were a hopeless mess, and I doubt they'll be any different this season. I waited a bit longer this season to put in these predictions, and I'm glad I did because in just a few days, several teams have already reshaped their own landscape and with seven players currently on the transfer list and an unknowable number on your bookmarks for purchase in the next few days, I'm certain my predictions will be even further off by Week 2. Oh well.

As always (or at least for the last few seasons), these predictions are based on current salary statistics for the league. This season, I've slightly modified it, because I think the value of bench play ends up helping push teams over the top, so this season total salaries, Top 5, and 6-10 salaries are equally weighted and then, Top 8, and Top 10, and average salary rankings are weighted equally. I total those ranking position points up and divide by the number of categories gathered gives me my ranking system. I'm not a scientist, but I am a dork who can't get enough of this dumb game, thus my predictions. Before the ranking predictions, here are some of the highlights and lowlights of our league.

Season 59 Information and Predictions - Part 2
Current League Leaders in Salary
1. Philly Dribble - $339,867. They still have an incredible 18 players rostered, though one is on the transfer list. Phil_wings has taken the outside approach with this squad, with PG Miguel Velasco leading the chargej, but he will be very well supported by Fasselli, Glicas, Huddleston, and Max-Phillip Woesler. These chaps seem to be in their prime and are poised to take it to the next level.
2. Hustlas - $317,748 - 13 rostered players an average age of 31 and none of which are on the transfer list. Since 10/2, Manager Reece has bought 19 players and appears to have fired 6, for a total cost of $391,500, with Črt Jovanoska costing the most in transfer fees, while 37-year old 7'0" Sławek Klin leads the way in salary costs at just under $64k. They'll be well rounded, but will they be able to make it stick and will it be worth it if they make it to Div II with an average age of 32 for players.
3. The Ashkickers - $295,094 - 15 rostered players with none listed for sale. Tylormade's group is also well poised to promote and not just compete at a high level, taking after that outside game as well. No notable additions this season, but with three players making above $44k per week, including the excellent (but near aging) Lorenzo Rojas leading the way, they'll be a difficult matchup for everyone this season.

In the division, teams average $217k in salary with only four teams averaging less than that, three of which average MUCH less than that, currently less than $70k. I will note, when I first pulled the salary numbers on Tuesday of this week, one team was ranked 10th and the other 11th, but are now ranked 6th and 9th respectively. Thiis season should be intriguing because the middle pack of seven teams are all within $16K of salary of each other. The middle should be a hot jumbled mess until the final week with some meaningful games hopefully taking place.

Current League Leaders in Starting 5
These might not be the actual starting 5 numbers, but actually just the highest 5 paid player salary totals from each team, but we'll call it starting 5 because it sounds better that way!
1. Lion Rebels - $222,895 - with C Terry Armstead taking up 46% of that total all by himself (once again, I'm still top-heavy)!
2. Philly Dribble - $211,841 - 62% of Philly's total salaries
3. Hustlas - $198,242 - I will note here that compared to last season, these numbers are WAY down and the percentage of top 5 salaries is far less than it was last year. This makes up 62% of their entire salary total. (last year, third-ranked in top 5 salaries [coincidentally, my self] took up 80% of the team's salary).

Overall, the 16 teams average $147K (down from 184 last season) for top 5 paid players with only 4 teams averaging more than $190k and three teams averaging less than $40k.

Current League Leaders in Assumed Top Bench Players (Top 6-10)
1. Hustlas - $93,429 ($18.7k per player)
2. Philly Dribble - $88,360 ($17.6k per player)
3. San Dominica Warriors - $84,867 ($16.9k per player)

As I wrote in last year's beginning of the season predictions, I think a quality 6-10 group can make/break a team's outcome for a season. I first realized this a few seasons ago and am still working to correct it, and damn is it hard if you're not flush with cash! Teams average $53k in this grouping of salaries (2k less than last season) with four teams averaging more thank $79k and 5 teams averaging less than $40k.

Season 59 Information and Predictions - Part 3
Season 59 Final Ranking Predictions
Once again, these rankings are based on salaries, with total salary, top 5, and 6-10 players weighted evenly and then a notch below that ranks Average, Top 8, and Top 10. Feel free to sue me if you're angry. And don't forget, these salary numbers will most definitely change, but my ability to predict things wrongly never will!

16. BOBBBSBURGS - Div IV.45's whirlwind champs from Season 58 haven't done anything to upgrade their team upon promotion and their salary total is $77k less than this season's salary floor (which dropped $5k, down to $126k). Manager ohio is really spreading the love with that $49k total salary across 21 players, with 28-year old American Michael Spain drawing $7,266 per week. Hopefully they have a plan for spending some money, otherwise, they're quickly going to be glorified floor rugs.

15. Sweaty Socks - Foot Sniffer is another Cinderella squad making its way as champions of IV.43 last season after joining up in the middle of the season. There's honestly not much of a difference between these two bottom ranked squads, except for $15k in salary. Fortunately, they can be the Great 8's door mat (although, I truly do hope they field a competitive team - much more fun watching the results of a good matchup than having a rollover!).

14. Motor City Waddupdoe - Last season's 14th predicted squad took it hard and wiped the floor with me for revenge, beating me out for 5th in the conference...here's hoping Fortunately for me, they reside in the Great 8, so I'll only have to face their wrath once...but with $69k in total salary, they're going to have to do a little more than purchase a couple of (now) 19-year olds. As brandonfy2 mentioned earlier, he's a recent returnee, the same as myself, so I'm sure they'll get a plan together to be competitive in Div III sooner or later, though unless there are drastic changes, I don't foresee them sticking around very long.

13. The Philadelphia Spartans - Moving up a tier in salary levels here, newcomer Coach Victor has nearly $115k more salary than the bottom three teams, but is also on a bit of an island, falling short $40k in salary to the next gang of III.11 squads. They don't have any recent purchase, but are fielding a solid group of 14 team members. We'll see if they make any moves to try and tangle with the next tier of salaries, or just hope to fight through relegation to stick around and improve in the long run.

12. Carolina Rebels - now, hear me out on this one (because this is where I'm certain I'm first wrong) - these rankings are based on salaries as they're currently set. Interestingly, Daisy Merollin still has 15 players on their roster which places them at $16k per player...but, if you adjust that to 13 players, it bumps them to 9th in average salary (up from 12) and if you drop it one more player (which I wouldn't recommend) it props them up to almost $19k/player, or good for 5th in the league per average. Basically, what it means is my calculation could be widely affected by small changes or additions and this group of teams from 12-4 are going to be highly disputed and revolving a lot throughout the season based on matchups, tactics, enthusiasm, and game shapes. Carolina's better than 12th, based on what I've seen from them last season. Which is one of the things I love about this game, it's not just about the players salaries or skills, it's about the matchups, the tactics, the enthusiasm, and (most importantly?) the game shapes! Now, having said all that, not a lot of moves from Carolina so far, but I'm confident they'll be mostly competitive, especially in this middle group, led by C Dewayne Allen and PG Trent Begley (combined $95k in salary).

Season 59 Information and Predictions - Part 4
11. Żubr Białystok - whitestok took advantage of the complete weirdness that happened in the Great 8 last season with Hustlas shooting star and Tachenko's dramatic fall from grace to take 2nd in the standings...only to have me rank them and their actually pretty good squad at 11th in the entire group. We'll see what happens this season, but as they're currently constructed, they've got a solid starting 5 and probably a decent top 8, but as we've seen in the past few seasons, training regiments some times get in the way still, even at Div III. Big Man Clark Riggins leads the way for this group as they venture toward Season 60.

10. Miami Cleo - packer_22 had a pretty whirlwind season, starting out undefeated (and surprised) before then melting into a puddle and finishing outside of the playoffs but easily handling their relegation duties. No movement from them, either, they seem content to play it out, though changes could be in the wind. In terms of total salary, they're middle of the pack, but based on my screwy formula, they end up here at 9th. The two headed monstor of Maruin and Varpukevicius in their back court is nothing to sneeze at. They do have their three rookies listed for sale

9. The Beer Bellys - thatguy sold now 20-year old Polish SG Bonifacy Piotrkowicz for a tremendous $357k near the end of last season. They were able to sneak into the playoffs last season on backs of Sexy Segovia and Homey Homs, a good mix of youth and age. They should be decent, but just don't have a strong go to to push them consistently over the top.

8. Linndale - with all the tumult action at the top for Speedtraps, along with the sales of SG Musa Özol ($450k) and PF Arley Coronado ($500k), they're doing a bit of retooling after making the playoffs back-to-back. They've got a good one-two punch of Kyle Knowles and Bobbie Coenen along with a solid core group backing them up. They'll be good and have a shot to make the playoffs.

7. San Dominica Warriors - The sell off of aging backup guard Janaki Grcev late last season has been Coach Stephensen's move coming into Season 59, and after weathering last season so well, they look to stand pat, it seems. What makes them difficult is they don't have one or two over the top type of guys, but have 10 pretty solid pieces and together, they string 48 minutes together pretty seamlessly. Blanchet, Baião, Bégin, and Granja lead the way for the Warriors.

6. 209's MostWanted - Manager AlexFromThe209 has been here (well, not here, but you know what I mean) and ventures back into Div III with what should be a competitive crew, bringing with them three new transfers in the last several days, including Polish big man Joachim Smug who is relatively young and probably has more room for growth. He joins up with A solid group of starters including Gomes, Ziółkowski, THan Lin, and Azheli. They're going to be very well rounded and most definitely play-off contenders.

5. BKDogs - Another Div III retread, Wisdom comes in ready to eat ice cream and kick some ass (and he's all out of...). Having not made much in the way of changes, they come in with a solid group of 10 players, so I'd expect, if they can afford it, those 10 are rounded out a bit, but they do have one player (Rodriguez) listed for sale for this weekend and should probably get more than what they're asking for him. They also have a really nice 18-year old MVP rated prospect in Alva Atwood. Another round for new-comers expecting the play offs this season in the Big 8.

Season 59 Information and Predictions - Part 5
4. Lion Rebels - Once again, I'm certain my squad doesn't deserve this ranking, but with some home-grown growth, there's hopefully improvement from last season's awful season (also a shift in training regiment should help at some point!). The selling of Byron Lutz last season really put a kink in their ability to compete, but Kurt Brown looks to make up some ground in his absence along side Fabio Carrillo and The Terror Armstead. But I won't be surprised if I'm fighting to avoid relegation again, wasting yet another season of Armstead's beautiful career.

3. The Ashkickers - After three seasons of ridiculous predictions, Tylormade is probably like "FINALLY I'M GETTING SOME RESPECT!". Their big 3 look to dominate this season with Rojas, Gattoni, and Reine and hopefully they do as they're starting to get up there in age. I do expect them to clean up their rookie situation, but other than that, they'll be a force in the Great 8 and I expect, they'll be competing for the 'ship come the end of Season 59.

2. Hustlas - Got to be honest, while Reece has revamped, retooled, and retorched this roster and they're near the very top of this list, I have a hard time seeing this group of old guys being worthwhile at the next level (unless he's got Tom Brady's trainer signed to his staff). They'll be tough - but it seems like Reece has put himself in a similar situation as last season: an aging (good) roster. Hopefully the money situation has been sorted and we don't have another mid-season meltdown/blow-up. I'm just thankful I only have to face them once.

1. Philly Dribble - This has got to be Phil_wings year, I just believe it to be true (mostly because I somehow ended up in the same Private League as him last season and I hate myself for it - I had to play them like 6 times in Season 58!!). I'm jealous of their outside game and think it's really difficult to defend. They'll have their struggles, but their broadness and depth of skill is going to be tough to beat.

Conference Standings
Big 8
1. Philly Dribble
2. BKDogs
3. 209 MostWanted
4. Lion Rebels
5. San Dominica Warriors
6. Linndale
7. Carolina Rebels
8. BOBBBSBURGS

Great 8
1. The Ashkickers
2. Hustlas
3. The Beer Bellys
4. Miami Cleo
5. Żubr Białystok
6. The Philadelphia Spartans
7. Motor City Waddupdoe
8. Sweaty Socks

Playoff/Relegation Predictions
Great 8 Playoffs
Miami Cleo vs. The Ashkickers
The Beer Bellys vs. Hustlas

Big 8 Playoffs
Lion Rebels vs. Philly Dribble
BKDogs vs. 209's Mostwanted

Great 8 Semi-Final Matchup
Hustlas vs. The Ahkickers

Big 8 Semi-Final Matchup
209's MostWanted vs. Philly Dribble

Relegation Matchups
San Dominica Warriors over Motor City Waddupdoe in two
Żubr Białystok over Carolina Rebels in three
Lindale over The Philadelphia Spartans in two

Season 58 Championship
Philly Dribble over The Ashkickers in three.

And so, there you have it! Good luck this season and may the best team prove me wrong!

Final programming note: almost all of my quips and schticks are tongue in cheek meant to have a little fun.

Last edited by Baine at 11/04/2022 17:40:37

Happy Ourer: “Good evening folks, Happy Ourer back for another exciting season of Linndale basketball on WINO radio, flagship home of the Linndale Radio Basketball Network. Season 59 has begun and our favorite basketball team has begun the campaign with a 88-76 victory over league newcomers 209’s MostWanted. Now before we break the team’s performance down, let me remind longtime listeners that the beloved Linndale legend Pio Reina is now on the coaching staff for Linndale and is in fact the coach-in-waiting, as the esteemed Coach embarks upon his final season before retirement. We wish Pio well in his new and future role, and welcome the new member of our team, another former player, Marshall Richards. Welcome Marshall!”

Marshall Richards: “Thanks! It’s great to be here!”

Happy: “Let’s get to the basketball! What did you see out there tonight?”

Marshall: “I saw a team out there that had to slowly adjust to a defense they rarely if ever see, and it caused them trouble. 209 played a strong defensive game. They forced turnovers, they had more steals, they got to the charity stripe more, and most importantly they took away the 3 point shot. What surprised me was the battle of the boards went to Linndale. The rebounding troubles have been noted by more than myself, for sure, so that was good to see.”

Happy: “They’ve got a lot of talented guards over there and I was looking forward to that matchup.”

Marshall: “It was a good matchup, and early on it looked like 209 had the advantage, but after the first quarter, that matchup went to Linndale. The bigs were interesting as I thought we might see 209 attack inside more than they did. I was interested in seeing how Linndale’s bigs would hold up. As it is, when your starters at power forward and center both get double doubles, that’s something you hope you can build on. We’ll see moving forward if Linndale can.”

Happy: “Your takeaway from this game?”

Marshall: “Nothing. Neither team was at it’s best. Both are strong enough defensively that they showed they can win ugly. Both showed that offensively they both have work to do. My takeaway is that 209 has the guard play to do some things. This could get interesting. Or it could be nothing. First game of the season means it’s too early to tell.”

Happy: “Thanks Marshall. More Linndale Basketball after these commercial messages...”

"Guess who's back, back again. Hustla's back, go tell your friends." Screen goes to s person sitting behind a desk. " Hellooooo everyone, it's me, Cash Danger, with Jamison, and we are here on an episode of Hustlas TV. They actually made it to another season in III.11 by the skin of their teeth. They won only one game after the all-star break, and that was the last game. They had to forfeit multiple games last season due to a blow up of the roster. And then they fielded a subpar roster to finish the season, but one just enough to squeak by in the final game of the season, a game, mind you, that they were outplayed in."

"And don't forget Cash. They finished above .500 with a 12-10 record," says Jamison.

"That's right, above .500. But we won't talk about their lone playoff game. But since that point, the Hustlas themselves this time, blew up their roster and brought in a lot of players while getting rid of other players. Do you think they will compete this season Jamison?"

"I think they will compete, but not like they did before the all-star break. The Hustlas have a great roster, but they are all old. If this was 4 to 5 seasons ago with the same players, I'd say they would win easily, and go undefeated. But this is an old roster. These players are good, but they have aged past their prime. So they will probably be middle of the pack...."

"I think otherwise," says Cash. "If the game plans are sound, and the lineups are sound, I think they'll be upper tier. Top 6 teams and playoff bound. But, some changes can be made. A new, younger pg. But the Hustlas have no capital. But the moment they get some, they need a pg. Their backups are high scoring, at least the next game the backups are high scoring. But some nights they will be on, other nights they will not be. Same with their bigs. So I think upper tier, but it could be a toss up with this team. Last season they made changes after a few games and the team started tearing up the league. But, those changes resulted in the league disbanding the team due to finances. We shall see if this team has what it takes. This season is a real test, especially with the promotion of Bobby Sparks as Team President..What does this team have in store for us this season? So far, they are 1-0, but if the team plays like that throughout, it will be a very long season indeed."


Last edited by Reece at 11/06/2022 16:42:48

Great write-up as usual...feel free to swing by for complimentary drinks and grub at the many clubs and restaurants at The Keg anytime!

Mark me down for a nice stout! ;)