BuzzerBeater Forums

Eff you all.




















Except Eclypze, who'd I'd like to congratulate on managing to stay up in III.6 for 19 seasons. An amazing feat.

I'd like to give a thorough, sincere, heartfelt eff you to every single manager in this league. Eff you specifically, manager reading this. Eff you. Eff your hopes, dreams, training plans, PR manager, fans, game shape, reputation, gate receipts, secret proxy team, and stupid team name that for some reason you thought was clever 4 years ago. May you lose to a thousand bots.

22-0 Baby.

Angry little boogers in this league, huh? Guess I'm just better off leaving to D.II in 1 season so I don't have to deal with you meanos.

There were basically no posts last season. I don't know what happened.

Your sister gave us all herpes.

So in the interest of making this league slightly more than mildly adequate. I'm gonna do a weekly recap.

Or not. This may be the only one. Whatevs.

Player of the week: Jorge Celma (30777368). Dude scores 48 out of the gate to lay waste to the Gold Swagger NT Small Isaiahs. Welcome to the league. Make a statement? Check. Sell some jerseys? Check. Lead your team to 2-0, score 68 points and hit 11 treys this week? Just some day to day shit...ain't no hero.

Stupid team name of the week: "lakey" Hey, there's like 12 weeks to a season. Odds are I'm not going to forget your team. But let's start with my "rival" lakey. lakey. A team name with so little confidence that 1) it's not even capitalized and 2) it's a diminutive form of the name. Why not just lakerwozzles, lakelike ,or lakerpoo if you wanna get cutsie? Trying to pay tribute to kobey, magic johnsy, and wiltsy? oopsy.

Tip o the hat: To the 15 players with perfect FT%. You guys are super awesome. Keep it up.

The question is, if you don't shoot any FTs, does that still count as perfect?

Sure, in the same way that 100% of the patients I've performed open-heart surgery on have fully recovered

Realized I'm going to be away from computers this weekend while on roadtrip (like ass I'm going to post anything on my phone in less than 3 hours...), so a quick half-week recap:

Player of the day (9/10): Dan Timmons (36748601). Hey, I know first hand that training players while trying to be competitive blows. My game Saturday had my trainee go 1-10 in 48 minutes. My trainee sucks facechum. Smedlock's trainee sucks facechum less: 30 pts, >50% shooting, dimes, steals, a block, and the win. All while logging 48 training to be to next great American overpriced blowhard who plays most of his career in China.

Stupid team name of the week: "Blue Collar Gold Swaggers" Sooo many things wrong with this name. One positive, lets get that annoying detail out of the way first. "Gold" - that's solid. This game is all about the gold, stick "gold" in your team name you're letting the masses know you're serious about this shiz.

So "Swagger" is less solid. Nobody other than pimps in 70's cop movies swagger. I don't want swaggish players, swaggy arenas, swagful blocks. Pretty sure swag anything is a technical in this game. A quick look at Thesaurus.com gives us some some fine alternatives the manager seemed to overlook: "Gasconaders", "Grandstanders", Pontificaters", and "Bulliers". All huge improvements.

But the biggest issue is "Blue Collar". Such a terrible and condescending term. Just not sure what the manager is trying here. First of all, blue collar people do not refer to themselves as blue collar. They prefer to be called normal ass Americans. That accounts for most everyone, although they subdivide the rest of the population into the categories of "ivory tower liberals", "boss", and "your honor". No, anyone how calls their team blue collar is most certainly not themselves blue collar. Isaiah is a white collar classist. Now wait up, you may say...maybe he's trying his best to honor his players and their normal American backgrounds. And to that I say Bullpiddle. That team's weekly payroll is $255, 000, or over 18k a week per player on average. These guys do not make "blue collar" money. Whatever they once were, it ain't blue anything now, it's green.

So that went on a bit. Short take, change the name to "Green Collar Gold Gasconaders" immediately.

Tip o the hat: To the Demon Hoosiers for playing "inside box and one". A tactic I've never seen anyone play in a competitive game. Can't tell if it helped or hurt his team, but way to think inside the box.

Now look, you've gone and caused a sell-off by BCGS. The Pacers used the Blue Collar Gold Swagger as their marketing motto for the last several years. I'm not sure it was well advised there either.

I can't think of the last time I used a box defense, but they're occasionally good for more than a pun. Scouting his roster and game ratings made it a uniquely, if unlikely, good option. Both of my last two opponents should be easy to beat for their next few games so long as they're scouted at all. I'm happy to give suggestions to any of their upcoming opponents. If I'm going to keep having successive opponents CT me while I've got a collective salary 41K under the average, hopefully they'll still only break through 50% of the time (and only by pushing through double OT). Maybe it doesn't make them the dumbest for the week, but it'll play out over the duration.