BuzzerBeater Forums

Your sister gave us all herpes.

So in the interest of making this league slightly more than mildly adequate. I'm gonna do a weekly recap.

Or not. This may be the only one. Whatevs.

Player of the week: Jorge Celma (30777368). Dude scores 48 out of the gate to lay waste to the Gold Swagger NT Small Isaiahs. Welcome to the league. Make a statement? Check. Sell some jerseys? Check. Lead your team to 2-0, score 68 points and hit 11 treys this week? Just some day to day shit...ain't no hero.

Stupid team name of the week: "lakey" Hey, there's like 12 weeks to a season. Odds are I'm not going to forget your team. But let's start with my "rival" lakey. lakey. A team name with so little confidence that 1) it's not even capitalized and 2) it's a diminutive form of the name. Why not just lakerwozzles, lakelike ,or lakerpoo if you wanna get cutsie? Trying to pay tribute to kobey, magic johnsy, and wiltsy? oopsy.

Tip o the hat: To the 15 players with perfect FT%. You guys are super awesome. Keep it up.

The question is, if you don't shoot any FTs, does that still count as perfect?

Sure, in the same way that 100% of the patients I've performed open-heart surgery on have fully recovered

Realized I'm going to be away from computers this weekend while on roadtrip (like ass I'm going to post anything on my phone in less than 3 hours...), so a quick half-week recap:

Player of the day (9/10): Dan Timmons (36748601). Hey, I know first hand that training players while trying to be competitive blows. My game Saturday had my trainee go 1-10 in 48 minutes. My trainee sucks facechum. Smedlock's trainee sucks facechum less: 30 pts, >50% shooting, dimes, steals, a block, and the win. All while logging 48 training to be to next great American overpriced blowhard who plays most of his career in China.

Stupid team name of the week: "Blue Collar Gold Swaggers" Sooo many things wrong with this name. One positive, lets get that annoying detail out of the way first. "Gold" - that's solid. This game is all about the gold, stick "gold" in your team name you're letting the masses know you're serious about this shiz.

So "Swagger" is less solid. Nobody other than pimps in 70's cop movies swagger. I don't want swaggish players, swaggy arenas, swagful blocks. Pretty sure swag anything is a technical in this game. A quick look at Thesaurus.com gives us some some fine alternatives the manager seemed to overlook: "Gasconaders", "Grandstanders", Pontificaters", and "Bulliers". All huge improvements.

But the biggest issue is "Blue Collar". Such a terrible and condescending term. Just not sure what the manager is trying here. First of all, blue collar people do not refer to themselves as blue collar. They prefer to be called normal ass Americans. That accounts for most everyone, although they subdivide the rest of the population into the categories of "ivory tower liberals", "boss", and "your honor". No, anyone how calls their team blue collar is most certainly not themselves blue collar. Isaiah is a white collar classist. Now wait up, you may say...maybe he's trying his best to honor his players and their normal American backgrounds. And to that I say Bullpiddle. That team's weekly payroll is $255, 000, or over 18k a week per player on average. These guys do not make "blue collar" money. Whatever they once were, it ain't blue anything now, it's green.

So that went on a bit. Short take, change the name to "Green Collar Gold Gasconaders" immediately.

Tip o the hat: To the Demon Hoosiers for playing "inside box and one". A tactic I've never seen anyone play in a competitive game. Can't tell if it helped or hurt his team, but way to think inside the box.

Now look, you've gone and caused a sell-off by BCGS. The Pacers used the Blue Collar Gold Swagger as their marketing motto for the last several years. I'm not sure it was well advised there either.

I can't think of the last time I used a box defense, but they're occasionally good for more than a pun. Scouting his roster and game ratings made it a uniquely, if unlikely, good option. Both of my last two opponents should be easy to beat for their next few games so long as they're scouted at all. I'm happy to give suggestions to any of their upcoming opponents. If I'm going to keep having successive opponents CT me while I've got a collective salary 41K under the average, hopefully they'll still only break through 50% of the time (and only by pushing through double OT). Maybe it doesn't make them the dumbest for the week, but it'll play out over the duration.

Had no idea about the Pacers. Not a team I follow much I guess. I'll forward my critique on to their PR when I have a moment.

Not the first CT of the season by the good man. But gotta love the ballsiness to go RnG/FCP/CT and pull out a double OT win. There's a team that's all style and no enthusiasm

Player of the week: Josua Elarmo (30254698). Not a player with flashy stats, but this guy is getting it done this week in leading his team to 2-0 with two 17.0 rating games. Averages of 17/4/4 on the season and 50% FG from the PG position go a long way to making your team better. Slow and steady winning the race here.

Stupid team name of the week: "Eloping Cantaloupes" Hoo boy, where to start.... First off, neither word has anything to do with a location, basketball, some animal mascot that may or may not possibly be intimidating, halfhearted badass bravado, or really anything to do with anything. Nope, it's just a lame bit of wordplay. Not the slightest thing to do with anything. Wordplay, mind you, that's not a pun, an alliteration, or even rhymes. So not even good wordplay, just two words that don't even rise to the level of a sensible knock-knock joke. I'd go on about how dumb this name is but it's so sad that it's not worth any more effort. Just a sad, sad team name.

Tip o the hat: To the Demon Hoosiers and the Rallies for being the first to lose in the cup. Both to IV teams that didn't even CT. Thanks for making it less awkward when the rest of us bow out earlier than we hoped.

Last edited by Bob at 9/20/2016 11:29:18 PM

So much for stimulating discussion in the league. Given up on that, but for my own amusement and no one elses here's a mid-season handicapping of the MVP race.

Mitchell Benson (30650876) Dude leads the league in points and boards, 2nd in blocks. Plus the MVP balloting is biased toward bigs, so you gotta say Benson is the front runner. The drawback is that he's on a middling team which will hurt him somewhat, but how much? Are there quality bigs on better teams? Well, yes, but no real standouts since Eclypze shipped out Nunez a few weeks ago. His replacement Kostas Sissovitis (30944956) shows some promise but with only a few games played so far it's too soon to tell what the MVP voters will think. Francesc Bohigas (31827686) makes a good case for being the #2 big in the league with his 19/13 average, but being on a seeming relegation leaning team puts him well behind Benson.

The best wings in the league happen to play for top teams. Can one of them make a case? Aljaž Dolšek (33258822) of lakey sports 24/4/3 averages and a shiny 15.6 rating. Julius Kirkpatrick (29556098) of the Flying Leopards is an unusual case as he's only been a starter in the last 5 games, but has been tearing it up with 24 and 10 averages from SF in those games. A slow start, but maybe he'll sneak up to MVP by season's end?

The highest rated player in the league is also on the Leopards, PG Josua Elarmo (30254698) averages 16/4/4 with outstanding shooting %s. PGs are even tougher than wings to get MVP consideration, but who knows?

I like your post but Benson is pretty good ;-)