WILMINGTON- The Tiger Sharks ended RunninGuns perfect season with an 89-76 loss. Christiamos Papalexis scored 42 points on Kobe Bryant-like numbers The rest of the team looked lethargic on the offensive end due to the sheer volume of shots that C-Papa was taking. One was spotted crocheting in the corner during a possession. "We told him to be aggressive out there, and he took that advice and ran with it, " said Coach Fucktard Pennyworth of his star's effort. When asked about his gameplan for tonight's game, Coach Pennyworth just shrugged blankly, and said, "Uh, Did you see the game?" I am assuming he either got the gameplan from a Cracker Jack box or told them to avoid a balanced attack at all costs.
Wilmington's woes continue as they travel to some far away country to play some random team for a scrimmage. C-Papa will not be hogging all of the shots because he is too good for scrimmages. The rest of the team boards the newly purchased WWII-era B-17 Bomber that the owner bought to save costs on travel. It was recently deemed "barely airworthy" by the Federal Aviation Administration and makes an odd sound when starting up.
Go Tiger Sharks.